For nearly two decades, Ana has been navigating the life of a fire family with love, resilience, and an unwavering sense of teamwork. As a spouse to a career firefighter, Ana’s journey is a beautiful reflection of the challenges, growth, and hope that come with being part of the fire service community.
How It All Began
Ana’s journey as a fire family began in 2003 when she met her now-husband. They dated for seven years before starting a family, which helped Ana get used to his long absences and establish a strong support system. “I made sure I had community: my family has always been there for us. Finding other adults to talk to, celebrating the little things together - it’s amazing how essential that connection is to human existence,” Ana reflects.
By 2006, her husband joined the US Forest Service, and in 2012, they welcomed their first child. Today, Ana and her husband are raising four children (ages 13, 11, 8, and 6) and while life is often unpredictable, Ana takes pride in their resilience. “Every season brings a new challenge. Just when you think you’ve got it down, another fire season rolls around,” she shares.
Life as a Fire Family
Being a fire family comes with constant change. Ana has learned to balance the unpredictability of her husband’s schedule with homeschooling her children, keeping both herself and the kids busy. It has also provided an avenue for connecting with moms who are also homeschooling, and other fire spouses. “Once kids are old enough, you meet up with others in the same situation. There’s an instant connection - you just get each other,” she says.
Social connections have been key. Ana shares how easy it can be to forget how important the little things are, like spending time with extended family, and having conversations with adults when you’ve been home with the kids and your partner is away.
During her husband’s time with the forest service, the family could visit the station, bringing treats and giving the kids a chance to interact with other firefighters. Now, with Cal Fire, the station is farther away, and these moments are harder to come by - but Ana emphasizes the importance of building community wherever possible.
Ana also reflects on her husband’s occasional feelings of missing out on their kids’ lives. “I remind him that they’ll always be his children. If you nurture a strong relationship when you’re home, they’ll come to you even when they’re adults,” she says.
Emotional Challenges and Strategies
One of the toughest aspects of fire family life is managing the emotional moments when children miss their parent. “Every one of my kids has gone through a period of missing daddy. Sometimes I lay with them and cry with them. Other times, redirecting their attention helps—and before you know it, dad is home again,” Ana explains.
“We mature as a family, experiencing different seasons with our children, within ourselves, and through changing career paths. Just when you think you’ve got a routine down, the next fire season rolls around, and suddenly you’re in tears, bracing for the challenges ahead,” Ana shares. But she also shares that while it’s easy to focus on the negatives - like your spouse being gone – she has been inspired seeing her husband grow into a community servant. His dedication extends beyond his career, and while public recognition - parades, thank-you’s, and appreciation - is meaningful, spouses aren’t always acknowledged. “Yet we continue to navigate this life together,” Ana shares, finding strength, pride, and resilience along the way.
She emphasizes the importance of routines and strategies to maintain emotional wellness. “I’ve learned to ‘name it and tame it.’ Acknowledge your feelings, process them, and create routines to manage stress. Talking about it, reading, exploring techniques like somatic exercises, EMDR, or binaural beats - it’s all about being open to learning and finding what works for you,” she says.
The Power of Connection and Mental Health Advocacy
Ana has found strength in connecting with other fire spouses through the Fire Family Foundation’s virtual support sessions. “The resounding message is that we’re all going through similar struggles in different ways. Being in a space where people can be honest and transparent has been incredibly healing,” she shares.
Her experiences have inspired her future career plans: becoming a fire family therapist. “I love connecting with people and listening. I want to serve the fire community in a deeper way, by helping families navigate the challenges I’ve lived through,” Ana says. She is also an advocate for mental health, working to break the stigma that often surrounds it in the fire service.
Staying Grounded
Ana credits her family’s resilience to teamwork, rituals, and communication. “When they’re gone, you’re on your own. Solo parenting, paying bills, attending appointments - it’s a lot. But it’s okay to be independent and then transition back to life together when he comes home. Listening to each other and checking in about what’s needed to reconnect is has been what’s worked best for us,” she explains.
Advice for Other Fire Families
Looking back, Ana offers heartfelt advice to those starting out in fire family life:
- Embrace the order of life that feels natural to you - don’t succumb to societal pressure.
- Focus on connection with your spouse, even amid independence.
- Build community wherever possible.
- Prioritize emotional wellness and communication.